My new prayer
I don’t usually use the word “prayer”, but it’s what feels right for me here. If there’s a term that’s more comfortable for you — perhaps “inquiry” or “mantra” — please substitute that.
When I am traveling in an expanded way or when I am consciously aware that I am surrounded by the beauty of the world, I find that I am more open, more playful, more curious. I naturally bring the fullness of myself into my being, I sense interconnectedness, I pay attention to signs, and I sink into wonder. I give myself the freedom to dance with what emerges.
And yet, I’ve also had amazing adventures where this part of me hasn’t shown up. I’ve gone on walks in beautiful places where I appreciate what I am seeing, but I don’t experience expansiveness. I’ve been on retreats where I am fulfilled but not inspired. I’ve gone on vacations with people I adore and yet I don’t feel touched by the place we are exploring.
So what opens me? What allows me to be fully alive?
I’ve been sitting with that question since returning from a retreat in Guatemala, and here’s what I’ve come to realize: when I am moving through life with presence, my inner and outer posture is one of availability. “Here I am, world. I’m ready to be astounded, led, surprised, challenged. I welcome it all. I’m here. I’m available. Show me.”
“I’m available. Show me.”
Those four words express the depth of my willingness to be used as a conduit and to surrender to a wisdom larger than myself. It is not a plea for answers. There’s no grasp-y quality to it. It is not directed nor does it have a position about an outcome. Rather it is offered in utter openness, curiosity, and trust.
“I’m available. Show me.”
At home, my availability is scheduled.
Most days I do create time for spaciousness and spirit, time to listen and receive, but that typically happens between 8:30am and 9:30am. (Even writing that now, I am laughing a bit. Scheduling spaciousness?!?) After that, I begin client work, have lunch, do more work, maybe go for a walk, squeeze in an errand, make dinner, spend time with the family, veg out a bit, and then go to sleep.
“I’m available. Show me.” does not exactly permeate my days at home. In fact, it seems that I'm not consciously “available” to spirit, to wonder, to beauty after 9:30 in the morning!
And so I’ve brought my new prayer – the one I immersed myself in while I was in Guatemala – back home. “I’m available. Show me.” I’m playing with it, trying it on, seeing how it lands, allowing it to move like a gentle breeze through my days.
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I’m available. Show me.
I’m available. Show me.
what wants to be revealed
I’m available. Show me.
how much space I take up when I am fully myself
I’m available. Show me.
what true nourishment feels like
I’m available. Show me.
what it feels like to be alive to joy
what wants to be untangled in this situation
what softness feels like
what I have outgrown
what it would feel like to trust that this moment is sufficient
where my courage needs to be rekindled
I’m available. Show me.
only what I need in this moment.
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Practice
Let this be simple. This is not a practice that originates from the head — you do not have to spend time “composing” just the right inquiry. Just allow a show me to move through you or bubble up in you.
I’M AVAILABLE. SHOW ME.
Offer a physical gesture of availability. It might be as simple as a smile or a breath or turning your palms upwards and pausing for a moment to demonstrate your receptivity. Or you could express your availability with a gesture of exuberance and wild possibility.
Into this space of availability that you have created, offer your own version of a “show me” prayer/inquiry. Don’t be attached to finding an answer — just release a “show me” and follow what emerges.
Let that be enough as you open your heart to receive. You don’t need to search for answers. Trust that you’ve planted a seed that will emerge in its own time.